So I told someone - Just Speak.

So I told someone I love, don't have booze in my house when I come back home from being away. I'm just not strong enough right now. And for once, she didn't. Although I didn't check in her bag (I know, I'm an untrusting bugger!)  And, she went to bed at 9.30 pm, so if she drank in her room, whilst its mildly pissing off, I guess she tried. She has a loud Wolfie. but he can bugger off on my watch.

That was different.

So I told another someone, who asked bluntly last night when staying here for work, why I wasn't drinking? I said I'd given it up for a bit and I was feeling better. Just better. And she just said, I guess that makes sense. End of story. What I didn't add was - I sleep better. I'm better. Life's better. I feel less isolated. Works better. Feelings are raw, but better and more manageable. I didn't add that I thought maybe I drank a bit too much when I was sad, and it didn't help. Sober is better. End of.

That was different too.

It's easier being sober than not sober, if that makes any sense. And, whilst I'm back home from my trip (and yes that was helpful and healing, thank you) life is slowly getting back to normal.

I'm a bit sad and I'm a bit flat, but that's OK. I told my husband, I'm not great. I didn't interalise it. And because I've told him, that seems to be a better way of dealing with things than isolating myself and drinking.

Also different.

Telling folks (some) of how I'm feeling seems to be a way of keeping me sober and slowly coming to terms with things like people bringing booze into my house, which I don't like, more manageable as how can they know if I don't say anything.

I'm still sober, also different.

Speak. Just speak, it helps. Wolfie also hates it when we share and reach out to others.

Sorry Gwen, you're not always right. Lovely song though.

I'm home and getting on with normal life, sober. Its been hard. I've been so indebted and touched by your support and I'll catch up on comments soon. Still baby sober steps here.

I do waffle on, so thank you for getting this far! If you've something kind or helpful to add or just want to say hello. Please drop a line below. I'd appreciate that. Thank you.