Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Changes and teaspoons.

Its funny when I think about it. Being sober won't change me I thought to myself I'm only losing the booze. Hmm. A bit like a new parent who's life will NEVER change after having a baby, things are very different.

I think for a while now whilst I've been in what feels like 'serious reboot' I've known something is afoot. However I didn't expect that things were really changing. But they seem to be.

Yes still sober. I've had opportunities thrust upon me to drink lately and somehow remarkably sidestepped them.

I've even drunk apple juice from a wine glass and pretended. Yes that's sad. I know don't judge me I am just not ready to come out to everyone. And certainly not drunken (family) strangers in my own house. Sometimes its easier to lick their teaspoon and smile whilst stirring their tea than actually have a fight about things. Especially booze. My husband knew it was juice too and just went with it.

So I'm sober but seem to be emerging from somewhere old into somewhere new. But, I'm not sure where.

I even had a stand up for myself row with my loved ones about my lack of phone. I listened, heard their points and rather than just feel grumpy and bludgeoned I actually said 'Don't push me on this or I will never have one again. Let me do this in my own time, right now I need to disconnect and reboot'. 

I now have a phone, its in the car, and its not connected to the internet. I use it for travelling at my family's insistence. I can see that point. They're taking on board I don't want to be connected to the universe every single second and they have my office number.

You see whilst I'm quite happy to stand up for myself sometimes, even about the smaller things, often or not I'm more of a 'lick your teaspoon' and smile kind of girl. But that's changing too.

Tea anyone.....I'll get you a clean spoon xx


  1. I was thinking of you. Lick the teaspoon. Nice.

    1. Its so defiant. But in truth I never claimed to be a lady! x Thanks for bearing with me. xx

  2. Daisy, it's so lovely to hear how you're doing. You're right, being sober really does change a person. I resisted that for a long time, but it happens. And it's good. Sounds like you're doing super well, finding ways to look after yourself and knowing when to just ignore rather than engage. (Oh how I'd love to get better at that one!) Take care. xo

  3. Love it! Love every word. I have really missed your posts in my busy ness, a big read fest coming on up :)
    How are your structured mornings going? XXX

  4. That isn't sad lovely at all. You'll share when the time is right. I sense new boundaries afoot ;) xx

  5. You go, girl! Live on your terms. Hugs, Do xxx

  6. No way do you have to tell anyone you're not drinking if you don't feel like it. It's your wonderful, amazing journey and you call the shots! xxMtts

  7. Daisy!
    So happy you are well!

  8. Hello! I'm always glad when I see you've written a post. Love Annie x