Friday, 21 August 2015

A Functional Drinker.

Functional drinking is what I do. So a pint would have done nicely.
Its been a funny old week. We've been here and there at all sorts of things. There have been quite a few social things on. You know the kind that involve that alcohol stuff, or bars or both. BBQ's and weddings and friends visiting and tea in other peoples houses with alcohol. And, we've been given alcohol too. You know because giving folks this disgusting stuff is like some kind of weird social convention. Here have some poison. Cheers. Doh.

Anyway, I've learnt something interesting this week. Whilst I'm often a bit muffled about my sober journey, my husband, who rarely drinks now, is like a breath of fresh air. When asked time after time after time after time at the wedding we were at last week, why he didn't drink, his reply was amazing.

He sat and spoke to the minister at length about it all. You see, he told him, I'm a functional drinker, I drink to get DRUNK. End of story. I can drink one drink and then often I have to have 20. I get a thirst for it, he told him. These days I find life is too full and fun to have days of my life obliterated by lack of memories and hangovers. These days my preference is to drive home, for soft drinks and enjoy whatever my evening/day brings me. No planning on who's driving, no squabbles, no forgotten wallets and keys, no midnight kebabs, no rowdy rows just because. I don't function like that anymore. I've done my drinking. Drinking doesn't function for me anymore.

This particular conversation started at the beginning of all the crazy social stuff. And, I watched with interest as he told pretty much the same thing to anyone who asked. There was a lot of raised eyebrows and 'what you don't drink ANYTHING?' several times.

Yup, cheap date me, he winks.

Conversations were at times fleeting, more times, in depth. But, no bolt of lightening struck him down, no floodlight lit up his speeches on his lack of alcohol intake.  A few raised eyebrows that was it.

The phrase 'functional drinker' has gone through my head several times since. Its just the correct phrase for my drinking. I drank to get drunk. I was a functional drinker. No point in a fancy glass of bubbles for me, I wanted a crate. Nothing elegant about that.

He also had no shame, nor does he. He's quite proud of his efforts, as a 15-20 pints a night, get up and go to work the next day, he's pretty happy he's not there anymore.

As the social events stacked up, I heard both myself and him tell folks, 'we don't drink thanks'.

Things do change. Its not all scary.

Aside the pasty BBQ sausages and the dodgy wedding tunes, now THEY are scary.

I do waffle on, so thank you for getting this far! If you've something kind or helpful to add or just want to say hello. Please drop a line below. I'd appreciate that. Thank you.

12 comments:

  1. It's nice that you both are sober.
    My husband and I are too. We have gone from hard core drinkers to sober.
    It seems so unlikely (although I suppose it had to catch up to us eventually), but life is much more fun now. And full. Plus, I remember it!

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    1. Anne I think you're right with that phrase, it catches up with us eventually and you either grow together or rip yourselves apart. I'm so glad you grew together. xx

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  2. What a lovely husband you have. And he managed to sum up in a paragraph exactly what so many of us feel. It's hard to explain to normal drinkers but he did it brilliantly! For some reason I was under the impression that your husband had always been a normal drinker who was just very supportive of your situation. Thankfully my husband is a normal drinker, but fully gets that I am not and is 100% supportive of my attempts to stop drinking.
    Lovely to read this post.
    Thank you for more inspiration
    Sarah

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    1. Hey Sarah, When I first met my husband he was at the peak of his drinking, in some ways I was surprised by his olympic efforts. He was always a 'pub' drinker, having kids I was always an in the house drinker. He says being around a family changed that for him, bike rides and adventures replaced day long sessions at the pub. I remember the first time we met he said, we must do a day at the pub, I remember thinking what a waste of time, and how expensive. I guess, as I drank at home, he never got that bit. So his habits changed and mine stayed core to my survival as a parent. Ironically its only since we've moved into a house together without the kids that now I found myself still unchanged, whilst my husband really barely drinks now. He's had 4 pints this year, all on holiday after a day out, never at home. I'm so glad that your husband is supportive of you. I'd struggle to cope if he wasn't for me. xx

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  3. That is a very lovely story. How matter of fact! Brilliant! Simple. I know it would be very appreciated on LS if you have time for a cut & paste. So many new people struggling with the concept of not drinking, & with telling others. XXX

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  4. Your husband sounds great. Mine is still drinking, but he doesn't drink much and he is trying hard to support me. If I needed him to give up drinking, I think he would, but I haven't asked him to, not yet anyway. Love Annie x

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  5. Dear Daisy,
    Your husband has a good sense of humor!
    My hubby doesn't drink any more to support me.
    It is much more fun going out together, with both of us sober.
    Your husband'a story is a good one.
    Peace and Hugs,
    xo
    Wendy

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  6. Simple, truthful and effective - your fella is just brilliant Daisy :) xx

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  7. What a guy :-) Just tell it like it is! xx

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  8. He sounds great. Hubby and I are cutting back together.

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  9. just wanted to say hello(: love this post! sometimes it is all in your perspective, isn't it!?!
    take care
    jaded

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  10. Right on! It’s great that you taking this sobriety vow seriously as husband and wife. It may seem weird for some people you meet on social occasions, but ultimately what matters is that you and your hubby are free from the constraint of being ‘functional drinkers’. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story! Good day!

    Gerard Holland @ SoberLife USA

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