Friday, 23 October 2015


Crazy crap nights sleep again. Getting to bed early enough but just disturbed sleep. There's a few things going on at home that have been unsettling. Maybe this is just normal stuff going on? I retreated the spare room, leaving my lovely bed and its snoring contents to itself and listened to Belle for a couple of hours.

I did think about Lucy's comment about the SMART groups routine, I've been struggling to go. I really must be more vigilant. And, I'm also at my 3 month review of my 'action plan' part of which was being more open about being sober, disclosing more. I can honestly say I'm not ready to do that yet and I don't know if I will ever be. And, having thought it through I'm OK with that for now.
Just don't call me sisyphus - Image

No point in pushing rocks up hill if you don't have to. I'm just not ready. I'm more open with husband but aside that this sober stuff is my business. A tad defensive maybe but its a process right?

I had a look back on this time last year. The weather is changing and the stove in the kitchen flickers away in the mornings. It reminds me of the safety of being newly sober and starting to find the sober community. Interesting looking back on the early days.

This time last year.....HERE


  1. The struggling to go to SMART - is that a physical logistics (too much stuff going on) thing or a psychological (sh*t I haven't done my action plan because I don't feel safe enough to be more open) thing? No judgement - just a well-intentioned question :) xx

    1. Its a bit of both I think. When I was last there two weeks ago the leader said - hey was gonna email you review time. And the first thing I said was great, the second was 'dont' be cross with me if I haven't done much of it..........

      Work days have not settled into a pattern as promised so I'm also doing the whole, no of course I don't mind if I don't get [my smart day] off - no problem. If it helps XYZ other person.

      You see I'm too bloody easy to help other people.

      There's an issue in itself.

      Although is that me hiding and making it easier not to go.

    2. PS awesome awesomeness on your blog making the top 20 best xxx

  2. It's your life. You choose.
    Things will work themselves out. Don't let anyone pressure you!