Saturday, 30 July 2016

Day 19 - long time no see.

Hey there, I hope you're good. I can't thank you enough for the comments that pop into the inbox. It really goes a long way. When of course I open my sober emails, which I'm trying to do everyday now and not shy away from them.

Its been a long time since I got this far, I'm normally 3 days - 7 days and then something freaks me out/gets too much and I head straight back to day 1. I'm trying to fathom out why but for now I'm happy at day 19. Tomorrow is day 20. My partner is away and I've invited a doesn't drink chum around for the day, possibly for the night we'll see. I'm liking my own space at the moment.

I'm generally OK, got a good gym routine going for my rehab for my knee, so its a good change to be doing something positive for myself. I'd also managed to get myself in quite a pickle about drinking/not drinking the other night and resorted to cleaning the house instead and that kept me going through the witching hour.

Today we try friends and a promise to go the the gym tomorrow.

I did begin to wonder if vanity can get you sober. My weight was creeping up to 'pregnant with child' previous records, partly booze partly comfort eating with booze in between. So many lost calories, such a messy kitchen in the morning. Sandwiches at midnight again, oh ok.

So something in the logic in my brain said, you know what enough is enough. You can't be trusted (yes Lou was right, I can't trust myself sometimes to make sensible choices for myself), so no more booze. And, that was 19 days ago.

Fitbit fully charged, food monitoring app on the phone, if truth be told if anyone had told me I'd been looking at the witching hour and thinking, you know I just don't have those empty booze calorie choices to make today, I'd have said they are insane. But then again as a functioning kinda gal, I can choose to drink 15+ units and still do the gym the next day, torturing myself, deserving the pain. Well not anymore. As I slide my way to 50, its not down a booze shute. I choose life.

Whilst I'm not dieting, I'm monitoring what I eat and seem to have reduced the 3000+ calories on a 'booze day' down to just under 2000 most days and I'm really getting my steps/gym in too drinking or not I make myself exercise. And, man its a slog with a hangover.

Whatever works I say. I'm looking forward to seeing day 20.

I do waffle on, so thank you for getting this far! If you've something kind or helpful to add or just want to say hello. Please drop a line below. I'd appreciate that. Thank you.

15 comments:

  1. Hello and great to hear from you!

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    1. Thank you Mark, I've been over to your page, its fabulous. I really enjoy the emotion in your writing. Thank you for popping in. Looked like a great day on the beach. Although I do wish you'd not been pummelled quite so much.

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  2. Lovely to hear from you, Daisy! I like your heart-shaped pebble. I like smiling pebbles too.... I seem to spot more of those about these days. Sending you a smile and a big hug! Prim xxx

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    1. Hey Prim thank you so much. I'm not a fan of this yo yo day 1 to day 7 rinse brain and repeat thing I'm stuck in, or hopefully not stuck in anymore. A smile and a hug are always welcome.

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  3. Hi Daisy! It's good to hear from you. I love the heart rock. Just cheering you on here. Choosing life is a grand idea. That's what I'm doing, too. xo

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    1. Hey there last night was really hard so I loaded mutts up and went for a walk. Small things like that really help, choosing life as you say x

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  4. Wonderful to read about how you're getting on! Happy day 20 coming up :-) SoberP x

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    1. I got here :) yay. First time in a long time. Hope you're well Sober P. xx

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  5. Congratulations! Getting this far is great progress!

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  6. Daisy! So good to hear from you! xx

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    1. Thank you too, lovely to see you x

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  8. Hi Daisy!
    I am so glad you are back and trying again!
    xo
    Wendy

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