So here I am finally catching up on sober-life, I'm so sorry this is so late, but here we go and how I've missed you all, thank you so much for your kind comments so far I really appreciate it all. My sober week, last weekend, but the one past, I went to London and caught up with some other sober ladies and how exciting was that. We nattered for hours and whilst I was nervous, I was more excited than scared for once in my life. I've never been so happy to sit and honestly be me, ever before, not a bit of confusion as to how I am, and to talk about sober in my real life, was fabulous. As well as all the other things we talked about. And enjoyed a Beetini mocktail, out of a very swanky jam jar in a dry-restaurant called Redemption.
It was challenging being out of my comfort zone in a city I've only been to three times in my entire life. But, armed with a good bit of planning and some 'tube' training I managed quite nicely. I also took the time to visit a friend who was local and catch up with her and her husband, in person for once, rather than on the phone. So a great time. I'll write more about it, I'm sure later. My main message from all of this would be, if you get a chance to talk to sober people, DO IT. Meet up, talk, hug and exchange stories, its really helped to strengthen my resolve. And, so I went to London and looked after only me for the whole weekend, what a sober treat.
I landed home with a bang. So much going on but always time to take time for me, go and walk, think and contemplate. After my therapy session on Tuesday I found myself walking on the rocks of a beach, gently placing my foot from one to another, choosing my path, thinking about each step. It made me think of this sober journey and how each choice is like a stepping stone, not necessarily in a logical order, but working towards a better me. I like that. Of course I fell off a big rock, but hey what's life without a few falls.......makes us know we're alive.
Wednesday I went to my group session and celebrated 130 days, a mixed week for many folks and whilst it was nice to share my successes it was also nice to share strategies for keeping sober, learning more about why urges strike and how to cope with them. Like waves, they come and go. And like my number, the sea washed it away too quickly.
I'm grateful the next number I wrote was 131 the next day. But, it so easily could have been a new day one if I'm not careful and look after myself so I'm still really focussing on self care. From Wednesday the week sort of disappeared. I heard I got a new job and whilst they said start in March, I ended up starting the next day for an evening shift. Now, normally if I got told you need to work 3pm-10pm at an event, I'd be thinking of how to plan my wine drinking for after. This time I just thought, I'm available, I don't need to worry about driving or drinking or whatever. I'm just available. That's a huge change for me. Sober.
Ok so starting work at an evening event with burgers and hot cider beside me on my first day. Not so great. I mean the burgers smelt lovely and the hot cider all gingery and scrummy smelling. I found myself saying, and god knows why I did, I gave up drinking a while ago. feel so much better for it, so no thanks.
And, yes I got offered it at work, yes folks got offered it who'd driven, the drivers to be fair didnt' take any. Cursing the change in the law. But I told my first stranger, I don't drink. I worked at this event for three nights, by the fourth evening, the lady said, I'm so sorry I keep offerring, you but you don't drink do you. No I said I don't.
So I kept on doing my lines and writing plant labels, sober. It seems like a nice place to work with lots going on so I'm keen to do well and keep myself sober and happy. Nice to go to work without the obligatory painkillers in my lunch box, just in case.
Squeezing in walks and organising my work meals has been hard work this week, but I've remembered that if I don't look after me, it doesn't help me stay sober. And, there's so much to be sober for. Like a new job working with these cute flowers, like a better, happier me, I'm better sober. Spring is really on its way.
A friend saw my post about being offered buckfast (a tonic wine) on the train in December, so she sent me this card and a cute bag she found to say happy new job. Only in Scotland would Buckfast at Tiffany's mean something so different, and not unlikely! It made me laugh.
And last week of course, Valentines day arrived. No pink champagne here, just some flowers, a day of walking and lunches out. The sun came out and it was very spring like, very warm and the beaches filled up a bit.
But, we found a few empty spots. A day of hand holding and laughing with my husband.
More chat about potentially leaving drinking to other people. A really close day which ended with a lovely supper of seafood and bread with a bottle of something cold and non-alcholic from the fridge, just because we can. And my poor fridge doesn't know what's hit it, such variety.
Have you noticed though, when the wine aisle loses its appeal, there's so much f**ing juice in the world and so much choice. I've been blind before I found sober. My current favourite is Beetroot, its gorgeous red hue luxuriously smears my glass with its glossy goodness. And its yummy too.
So I've a day of a bit of work, a bit of recovery SMART group and a few chores later. My sober week, this time has been a bit full, but its settling down. A new job to enjoy and a sober working girl. Who'd have thought it. Happy sober week folks.
