Day 47 - when did I become second best?

Breakfast time, the hugest change ever and sober treats, they had no lilies so I got roses instead. Cute huh?

So I've noticed a shift, no weight loss (unlikely given current food guzzelling rates) but a wee shift.

I make my breakfast, yes breakfast, not just painkillers, and I make my coffee, I make my blah blah blah before I deal with the universe. Normally I'm second, or third or fourth or I forget about me. Part of that the eternal hangover? Part of that feelings of low self esteem? Part of that how I treat myself, like I don't matter? 

Here's the change.

I make and eat my breakfast, this is mainly because I am starving.

So -

The chickens breakfast gets done after mine.

The dogs breakfast gets done after mine.

I speak to people after I've had a bath.

I make sure I eat properly.

I clear the table in the kitchen, now you know what its like we've a large kitchen table and its always a dumping ground for everything. Last night I thought, erm no, you've just bought flowers, you can't see them. Clear the table. Do it for you, the dogs won't care. (They don't have long legs, so they can't see).

So I come first.

I'm not saying this attitude will stay forever, but its a change. My husbands trip got extended. I'm so glad (you see I said GLAD) I stopped drinking because I'd planned a whole weeks guilt-free drinking whilst he was away. He's likely now to be away for almost 3 weeks. Can you imagine what kind of mess I would have got myself in? Three weeks of a binge. YUK.

I'm looking after me. OK so its all small steps, but its a change. I know I need to look after myself if this is ever going to work. Who knew eh?

Entering Day 47 full of shredded wheat, multi-vits, and everything still gets done. 

PS the sober treat of flowers, less than a bottle of wine. I talk about things in bottle of wine equivalents (EQ's). Sober flowers 3/4 of a bottle of wine EQ's, much better for me too.

Wine now equals = very expensive wee.

In so many ways.

Have a great day!

I do waffle on, so thank you for getting this far! If you've something kind or helpful to add or just want to say hello. Please drop a line below. I'd appreciate that. Thank you.