Day 38 - Overwhelm and getting things done.

My sober bed

So rather than write at night when the mood can be skewed by the cravings for alcohol, I thought today I'd write early. Actually so early, I'm still in bed. Actually I'm in my new 'sober bed' this was my first 'big' treat for being sober a month. So, as I got restless last night, nothing much settling me in the empty house, I built it. And, made it up and moved right in. I had a brilliant sleep, thanks for asking!

As part of changing my daily drinking routine we literally swapped bedrooms from the main bedroom to the lounge's comfy and cosy sofa bed. We've been cosy in there since early October, my husband is more than a bit tolerant of my crazy wishes, so when I said, lets 'camp' in the lounge, it's cosy in there, he agreed.  I really needed to change my routine of drinking on the sofa every night. Drinking on the bed, or in bed, whilst I've done it, not so cool. And, it worked a wee tweak to my routine, I swapped hot chocolate for wine. Its been a sober month while now camping in the lounge. But, it was only temporary. I've been hankering after a quieter space, he's a TV on to sleep kind of person and I am not. So I need a quiet space to hide in.

With my husband away this week, I'd left building the bed until he'd gone to give me lots to do. He's not much of a DIY'r and I love pottering about. So I've enjoyed clearing the room myself and making up a bed, which was straightforward. Just as well. I know that I'm not good with overwhelm, for me its a real trigger into unworthiness and self loathing which leads to drinking. 

Not last night, I thought about the task at hand and limited what I'd promise myself I would do. I didn't build the bed in the master bedroom, it would have been just too much to take down one bed and move it and swap things about. For a while now, I've been hankering after the spare room and sub-conciously I think I bought my sober bed for this room. It doesn't overlook the village streets, Its quiet and private, it overlooks the garden. It feels safer and more private in here. I like this space.

Its a nice space. So I've folded up the sofa bed for now, moved myself into my new uncluttered space with the new bed, my sober bed. 

Its calm and quiet. 

I like it. 

I need to work on making other parts of my life this quiet and uncluttered. And, to get things done, quietly and slowly without overwhelm.

Not just a sober bed, a sober thinking bed at that. A really good nights sleep. Really good.

Well that's me, time for breakfast I think. Have a great day whatever you're up to. And, yes breakfast is a part of my new sober thing, with the vitamins and the baths. Small changes, big impact. 

PS Oh and the chocolate thing seems to have vanished as quickly as it came. Life is funny. My eating chocolate freaked my husband out more than my saying I was giving up the wine for a bit.

I do waffle on, so thank you for getting this far! If you've something kind or helpful to add or just want to say hello. Please drop a line below. I'd appreciate that. Thank you.